Games Destroying Relationships? Awesome.

Matt Barton's picture

Oh, boohoo. Hubby would rather play Call of Duty than snuggle with honeybear. And I'm supposed to care why? You guessed it. It's another silly survey making the rounds: "Could computer games spell the death of your relationship?" (considering that most gamers can't spell anything, much less "deth" and "realashionship," I guess the answer to that question is "hellz naw.")

The survey, conducted by some website called One-Poll.com (which I was unable to access, big surprise), apparently found that out of 1,500 gamers and their "partners," gaming was having a negative impact on their relationship. Apparently, Joe Gamer would rather teabag a pack of anonymous ADHD 12-year olds than spend quality time with his significant other.

Anyway, here's a couple thoughts. For one, how attractive are these women? If they're anything like the one pictured in the photo, sign me up for some Football Manager marathons right now. I don't even LIKE football, but damn!

Now, seriously. Have you *ever* been in love? If so, you know damned well that no game is going to tear you away from sweetie pie for five minutes. Besides that, you bloody well couldn't afford to buy a game anyway after all those roses, dinners, chocolates, and flavored condoms.

What we're talking about here is some disgruntled she-bitch in jogging pants and an old family day t-shirt who hasn't bothered to shave her legs and pits in two weeks, but it's got to be the games coming between them. "Do you want to come rub my feet?" Sure, babe, just after I spend eighty hours getting this goddamn epic codpiece for my pet murloc.

Comments

Bill Loguidice
Bill Loguidice's picture
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Joined: 12/31/1969
Videogames are clearly evil.

Videogames are clearly evil. They're the only activity that causes people to exhibit addictive behavior or keeps them from spending quality time with their loved ones. They're also the only form of media to feature violent and sexual content. Frankly it makes me question co-founding Armchair Arcade in the first place. I'm clearly a soulless deviant, since I'm actively contributing to society's number one issue today, videogames.

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Rob Daviau
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Joined: 05/19/2006
Get help!
Bill Loguidice wrote:

Videogames are clearly evil. They're the only activity that causes people to exhibit addictive behavior or keeps them from spending quality time with their loved ones. They're also the only form of media to feature violent and sexual content. Frankly it makes me question co-founding Armchair Arcade in the first place. I'm clearly a soulless deviant, since I'm actively contributing to society's number one issue today, videogames.

It's OK Bill, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem! An intervention is immanent!

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Matt Barton
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Joined: 01/16/2006
For those of you unfortunate

For those of you unfortunate enough to have a wife AND kids, here' s a product that might help you squeeze in those extra 142 days worth of Dragon Age Origins:
The X-Treme CageX-Treme Cage
The company reminds you that it's cruel to put more than one kid in the same iCage. So don't be stingy! And make sure to recycle by ripping up your old gaming magazines and spreading them around the cage bottoms. This X-Treme (TM) containment solution should be sufficient until the time comes when your child is ready for his or her first Nintendo DS. After that, it's no longer your problemo!

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Mark Vergeer
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Joined: 01/16/2006
Be your own therapist!

The only way I can continue to function with my withering brain and all this gaming is to be my own therapist! Psychoanalysis during mspacman and gestallt therapy during RPGs, anger management while playing fighters and Ritalin when playing shmups. There you have it!

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AmigoMike
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Joined: 10/06/2010
Well my wife can get a little

Well my wife can get a little upset if I spend too much time playing really time consuming RPGs. She also doesn't like it if I play FPS with the sound cranked. War in the living room she says! I think the key is to involve her as much as possible.
We sometimes play xbox live games together. We played Gauntlet and she really liked it but after about level 35 we both got bored. I taught her backgammon and she destroyed me with beginner's luck. Good times.

Chip Hageman
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Joined: 10/06/2010
Matt Barton wrote: "Could
Matt Barton wrote:

"Could computer games spell the death of your relationship?" (considering that most gamers can't spell anything, much less "deth" and "realashionship," I guess the answer to that question is "hellz naw.")

I've heard a lot of this so called "jive" talk during pick up games of Madden in the local big box stores. I'm guessing there is marital trouble in their future..

Still, it probably won't be video game related.

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forcefield58
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Joined: 05/19/2006
Getting your partner involved is key...

Well, I'm in the category of gaming every single day, at least 2-3 hours worth. I got the wife into gaming and now she's even more avid than I am. She sits at her desk on the Mac playing some Disney game with fairies that has a monthly subscription and I play all things Xbox in my easy chair right next to her desk! So, we have togetherness (hahahahaha) while gaming! It's kind of funny as all my kids are gamers. The 9 year old plays the same Disney game as the wife, but on her laptop in another room.
Cheers

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