Asteroids: The Movie?!?!?!!?

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Rowdy Rob
Rowdy Rob's picture
Joined: 09/04/2006

Believe it or not, there was a bidding war for the movie rights to the videogame "Asteroids." As crazy and ridiculous as it sounds, there apparently is going to be an "Asteroids" movie. Here's a link to an article from "The Hollywood Reporter:"

Matt Barton
Matt Barton's picture
Joined: 01/16/2006
Geez. I was mostly curious


I was mostly curious and then ambivalent about Transformers, but G.I. Joe and now...this? As much as I loved those toys, cartoons, and games when I was a kid, has it really come to this? It's a guilty indulgence at best. As far as I know, Asteroids has virtually no plot, so I suppose there might be room for some kind of halfway decent action sci-fi flick. I can almost see it now...Yup, there's the cutesy little alien sidekick...Drop dead gorgeous bad ass love interest who hates him at first and then wants to have his babies...Oh. And some rocks they gotta blow up in hugely extravagant particle explosions. Or no--let me guess--an asteroid is heading right for the earth! Or maybe the center of the galaxy, where it will destroy the whole universe!! OMG! All the multiverses, including the "evil" Voyager crew! Or--no--there is an asteroid somewhere that was an ancient alien base, and those aliens wrote in hieroglyphics and built the pyramids and the island of Atlantis! Or maybe the asteroid is the isle of Atlantis and now they're time traveling forward to destroy Hitler before he becomes a kung fu mummy and wins World War 3 with nuclear-powered dinosaurs... Oh, wait, can't give away too much.

I think the only way to salvage a good movie out of something like Asteroids would be to go Red Dwarf style and make it a scathing satirical comedy like thing. As fun as watching a ship going around blasting asteroids might be, I don't think I can handle another big hunk of cheese like Transformers 2. Special effects can only carry a movie so far.


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