Tell a joke!

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Matt Barton
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Please share one or more of your favorite jokes here in this forum.

Did you hear the one about the race between the two silk worms? It ended in a tie. :)

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Matt Barton
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ahh

ok, I get it now. :)

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Mark Vergeer
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Matt, you never told me they had to be funny....

It's a joke a read in Dutch at my parent's house today, I had to translate it from Dutch so perhaps a lot is lost.
It's all about this baptizing fellow requesting more baptazing water because the list of names the newborn is getting is too long for him to last with his standard supply. In Dutch Roman Catholic baptizing practices a little water from a fond is poured over the babies head with a chalice. There's no submerging the whole body in water or anything. Any ways, it's a bad joke.

I don't know what it is with jokes, but I always forget them. I am not a joke-telling person, I am just naturally funny ;-P



Editor / Pixelator - Armchair Arcade, Inc.
www.markvergeer.nl

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Matt Barton
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funny
yakumo9275 wrote:

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, I’m your son’s math teacher.”

This one had me in tears lol, though I liked Bill's, too. I just don't get Mark's, though. :(

Here's another quickie:

Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a talking scale it says, "Please step out of the vehicle."

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yakumo9275
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bad joke

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman waving at him and saying hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all of my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt???”

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, I’m your son’s math teacher.”

-- Stu --

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Bill Loguidice
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The Picture Window and the Boy

Here's one of the only jokes I ever told regularly as a kid:

A man is walking down the street on the way to the train station and passes a house with a large picture window, seeing a woman inside hitting a little boy over the head with a loaf of bread. Surprised, but not wanting to get involved, the man moves along to catch his train.

The next day, the man is again walking down the street on the way to the train station and again looks into the house with the large picture window and again sees the woman hitting the little boy over the head with a loaf of bread. Baffled, but not wanting to get involved, the man moves along to catch his train.

The day after and every day after that for the next several months, the man passes by the same house with the picture window and sees the woman hitting the little boy over the head with a loaf of bread. Despite his incredulity, he vows not to get involved and each time moves along to catch his train, until one day he again passes by the same house and the same picture window and the same woman and little boy, except this time he sees her hitting him over the head with a cake. Unable to control himself any longer, the man bursts through the front door and asks the woman, "Every day I pass by your house on my way to work and see you hitting the little boy over the head with a loaf of bread, but today it's a cake. What gives?!". The woman says, "Well, today is his birthday."

Hey, it won a class award in junior high... ;-)



Wii: 1345 2773 2048 1586 | PS3: ArmchairArcade
Bill Loguidice, Managing Director | Armchair Arcade, Inc.

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Mark Vergeer
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Religious joke

Father John held the newborn and asked the parents what names the child sould be baptized with.
The mother began to answer "John Peter Mark Charl......", whilst Father John asked the Vicar "....please more ..more water!"

Charlie Babbit made a Joke! Mwhihihihihi

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