RetrosexualHi, guys. I've been working on a new song for the past couple of weeks and thought I'd upload it here for your enjoyment. I plan to make a fun video to go with it, but would like to see what you think of the tune first. I'm particularly interested in what parts you find the funniest.
Download Retrosexual.mp3.

Thanks, and happy listening! Lyrics below.

(Press Play On Tape...Loading...Ready...Run).

You're just a young cub
Never saw the breakfast club
Well you better buckle up
In my DeLorean
I am your historian
And we're going back to the 80s

Now I ain't bragging kid
So don't put me down
But I'm the one they call
When there's a dragon in town
I know you think you're bad
and you're ready for slayin
But I was level gainin
When you were potty trainin' kid

Now that you're strapped in
to your rear-facing car seat
Let's talk of when you had to work to be 'leet

For me it all began with the apple ii
you could program in BASIC but the memory blew
not even Miyagi couldn't teach it kung fu

So I was codin' in assembly and doing lots of readin
developin mad skills while you were breast feedin'

Now before you start to blather
that these machines don't matter
and modern games are better
well you're still a bed wetter

so remember what your mama said
Keep your mouth shut, kid, when a grownup is talking

I know you think you're so cute in that Atari t-shirt
and I'd hate to see you get your feelings hurt
but have you ever played Yar or Combat or Pong?
or looked for Reese's while the A*Team was on?

You call yourself hardcore cuz every game is a shooter
I'm more afraid of the grownup Punky Brewster
in battlefield 3 you may be like a tsunami
but in a real game of skill you'd get beaten by your mommy

Chorus:
Trash 80, Apple II, Commodore 64, why buy just a videogame?
I'm a retrosexual
Ultima and Wizardry, don't you wish you could've been me? One SID chip, two mocking boards
I'm a retrosexual