Well, if you are really after finding that someone special, I'm sure you will Rob. You seem like a great guy, at least in the little that we know you from Armchair Arcade. (..........)
There are of course many options out there like that, but the point is, don't give up. If you're happy with yourself and true to yourself, there's no doubt a match or two for you out there.
Wow, I wasn't expecting to turn the thread into a "dating advice" thread!
Your story of how you met your wife through AOL is an intriguing one. I had a friend who met several women through online forums on Compuserve, and it was actually somewhat weird. My friend (who shall remain nameless) had some personality issues that made him barely tolerable, and in fact wasn't liked by most people, yet he was very intelligent and able to talk "deeply" in the forums. He started to get into some "deep" conversations with a girl, and they developed an online relationship. He sent the prospective girl a very misleading photo of himself, and she in turn sent some misleading photos of herself. After some phone conversations that deepened the relationship, she actually flew down and moved in with him, never having met him in person before. I stayed away as much as I could, and the relationship lasted a few months before she essentially ran for the hills. The last I knew, though, he did actually meet up with another woman online who seemed compatible with him, then he moved out of town with her, so I don't know what happened after that.
In my case, the trouble is not meeting women, or even attracting women. Women will generally let you know somehow that they're interested, either from the classic subtle clues (playing with their hair, smoothing their clothes, etc.), or in outright aggressiveness. Heck, I'm staying home tonight, rather than attending a "Guy Fawkes" party, partially because a woman who is pursuing me is going to be there, and my friends are trying to force her on me, and I'm not interested, and I've told them so, but.... well, I don't like to crush a woman's ego for the simple crime of being interested in me. I guess this avoidance makes me a "coward." Which is a shame, because I really enjoyed last year's Guy Fawkes party. But it's awkward, since she runs in the same circle of friends that I do.
My problem is that I lose interest fairly quickly, or become annoyed when someone is "in my face" all the time. I like to be alone a lot and do my own thing, and not have to be dragged to the mall, to the movies, to their friends house, to do "their" things, especially when they can't enjoy "my" things, even when they feign interest in my things initially. The problem is that "my things" are usually solo-oriented interests, mostly artistic stuff, reading books, getting on the computer, or whatever. That's the dark, selfish, "jerk" side of me, and when that side starts to arise, it's time for me to bail, at the expense of their crushed souls (and mine). I suppose when it comes to relationships, I'm fairly immature and/or unrealistic, but the "geek" side of me is who I am.
Matt Barton wrote:
Let me stress that these girls are RARE. Typical girls who aren't interested will gently let you know they have a boyfriend, husband, etc., or will politely disengage. Others might suddenly remember they have somewhere to be, have to make a call, etc. That's the typical "rejection," and frankly if it bothers a guy that badly he needs a thicker skin!! :P
Well, I suppose I'm somewhat the male version of the above. I'm not saying I'm a super-mega-hunk or anything, but women generally seem to like me, except for the ones who are into the "wild" scene. Yes, it sounds egotistic to say, but women generally come to me, not the other way around. It's hard for me to politely disengage without hurting feelings, especially since I've been on the other side of that fence too. I can understand the "harsh rejection" approach, simply because it's easier than the polite approach, where the other party usually doesn't get the hint. It's like a no-win scenario.
If someone comes along, I'll go with it and see what happens, but I'm not going to pursue it, probably because I'm afraid I'm FUBAR when it comes to relationships. One the one hand, I am comfortable being single. On the other hand, I know I shouldn't be, and feel like I'm missing out on something that I'm not supposed to.... And being the only male in this branch of the family tree, if I don't "procreate," I've essentially killed off this branch of the tree.
Well.... so... that calender is pretty interesting, eh? :-)
Well, if you are really after finding that someone special, I'm sure you will Rob. You seem like a great guy, at least in the little that we know you from Armchair Arcade. (..........)
There are of course many options out there like that, but the point is, don't give up. If you're happy with yourself and true to yourself, there's no doubt a match or two for you out there.
Wow, I wasn't expecting to turn the thread into a "dating advice" thread!
Your story of how you met your wife through AOL is an intriguing one. I had a friend who met several women through online forums on Compuserve, and it was actually somewhat weird. My friend (who shall remain nameless) had some personality issues that made him barely tolerable, and in fact wasn't liked by most people, yet he was very intelligent and able to talk "deeply" in the forums. He started to get into some "deep" conversations with a girl, and they developed an online relationship. He sent the prospective girl a very misleading photo of himself, and she in turn sent some misleading photos of herself. After some phone conversations that deepened the relationship, she actually flew down and moved in with him, never having met him in person before. I stayed away as much as I could, and the relationship lasted a few months before she essentially ran for the hills. The last I knew, though, he did actually meet up with another woman online who seemed compatible with him, then he moved out of town with her, so I don't know what happened after that.
In my case, the trouble is not meeting women, or even attracting women. Women will generally let you know somehow that they're interested, either from the classic subtle clues (playing with their hair, smoothing their clothes, etc.), or in outright aggressiveness. Heck, I'm staying home tonight, rather than attending a "Guy Fawkes" party, partially because a woman who is pursuing me is going to be there, and my friends are trying to force her on me, and I'm not interested, and I've told them so, but.... well, I don't like to crush a woman's ego for the simple crime of being interested in me. I guess this avoidance makes me a "coward." Which is a shame, because I really enjoyed last year's Guy Fawkes party. But it's awkward, since she runs in the same circle of friends that I do.
My problem is that I lose interest fairly quickly, or become annoyed when someone is "in my face" all the time. I like to be alone a lot and do my own thing, and not have to be dragged to the mall, to the movies, to their friends house, to do "their" things, especially when they can't enjoy "my" things, even when they feign interest in my things initially. The problem is that "my things" are usually solo-oriented interests, mostly artistic stuff, reading books, getting on the computer, or whatever. That's the dark, selfish, "jerk" side of me, and when that side starts to arise, it's time for me to bail, at the expense of their crushed souls (and mine). I suppose when it comes to relationships, I'm fairly immature and/or unrealistic, but the "geek" side of me is who I am.
Let me stress that these girls are RARE. Typical girls who aren't interested will gently let you know they have a boyfriend, husband, etc., or will politely disengage. Others might suddenly remember they have somewhere to be, have to make a call, etc. That's the typical "rejection," and frankly if it bothers a guy that badly he needs a thicker skin!! :P
Well, I suppose I'm somewhat the male version of the above. I'm not saying I'm a super-mega-hunk or anything, but women generally seem to like me, except for the ones who are into the "wild" scene. Yes, it sounds egotistic to say, but women generally come to me, not the other way around. It's hard for me to politely disengage without hurting feelings, especially since I've been on the other side of that fence too. I can understand the "harsh rejection" approach, simply because it's easier than the polite approach, where the other party usually doesn't get the hint. It's like a no-win scenario.
If someone comes along, I'll go with it and see what happens, but I'm not going to pursue it, probably because I'm afraid I'm FUBAR when it comes to relationships. One the one hand, I am comfortable being single. On the other hand, I know I shouldn't be, and feel like I'm missing out on something that I'm not supposed to.... And being the only male in this branch of the family tree, if I don't "procreate," I've essentially killed off this branch of the tree.
Well.... so... that calender is pretty interesting, eh? :-)
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